Am I addicted to alcohol?

If you drink alcohol regularly, as in every weekend, even if you only have the one, then you probably are addicted to alcohol in some way shape or form. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s an addictive substance. It happens to the best if us!

I believe there are many types of alcohol addiction. Functional addiction, emotional addiction, social addiction. Whatever your reason for drinking. If you believe you NEED it, whether to relax, to have fun, or to build confidence then you are probably addicted to alcohol. Nobody NEEDS alcohol. It offers us no health benefits what so ever. FACT!!

Some people believe they NEED alcohol to function, they physically cannot get through their day without it. Others believe they NEED it to build confidence, having a quick drink before they deliver an important presentation. I drank at the weekends to help me relax and unwind after a busy week of being Mum, Wife, Career woman, dog owner and house keeper. I was the perfect example of someone who is emotionally addicted to alcohol.

I One Hundred percent believed I NEEDED wine to relax. I didn’t think I was addicted to alcohol though. I thought I was in complete control of my drinking. I mean, I rarely drank more than a bottle of wine. Surely the fact I decided what was an acceptable amount to drink and stuck to it showed control, right???

The truth is, although I rarely drank more than a bottle. I rarely drank less than a bottle!! In fact, I’d be miffed if I had to share that bottle, like when my husband says he doesn’t want any, but then changes his mind after I’ve only bought one bottle from the shop or when I’m sharing a bottle of wine with a friend over lunch and they pour more into their glass than mine….what’s that all about??

The key moment for me, when I finally realised I was addicted to alcohol and that It was controlling my behaviour, was in Oct 18 (days before I quit once and for all) My husband was attending a kendo competition in London, so we decided it would be a good opportunity to take the boys to see the sights. Martin would be away during the day, but he’d be back in the evenings.

On Saturday morning, I decided to take the boys to the Tower of London (my kids love that kind of thing). Martin left early in the morning, so I took the boys for an early breakfast then we caught the tube over to the Tower of London. we were having an amazing day, but as lunch time approached, the boys were starting to get restless and hungry. I’d promised to treat myself to a glass of wine with my lunch for being so brave taking the kids out in London on my own. I was looking forward to sipping that cold glass of Chardonnay.

We came out of the Tower of London and the boys immediately spotted subway. “Mum I’m really hungry”, “mum I need the toilet”, “Mum we want subway” ,“mum it’s over there”. At that very moment, I could have walked 50 yards, bought my kids a subway and ended the moaning right there and then. But there’s one huge draw back with subway. They don’t serve wine and if they did it would be in a plastic cup. I do not drink wine out of a plastic cup. (Another reason I thought I was in control of my drinking)

I don’t know how well you know London, but I made my children (aged 6 and 9) walk over a mile, over the Tower Bridge, up and down steep steps, along the waterfront in hunt of a child friendly restaurant that served wine. The whole journey being accompanied by children’s whining “ mum my feet hurt”, “mum how far is it now”, “mum I’m hungry” “mum mum mum mum”. AAAAARRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I caused that stress myself, I could of ended it 20 minutes ago, but because I needed a glass of wine I was willing to put myself through it. It would all be worth it in the end I told myself….but was it???

We eventually got to a pizza restaurant, I got my wine, my kids ran wild and continued moaning about how hungry they were while they waited 30 more minutes for their pizza to be made from scratch. The other people in the restaurant were continually tutting at me, wondering why, If I couldn’t control my kids, I’d brought them to such a restaurant. Well I’ll tell you why…………..

Because I need a bloody glass of wine if I’m going to have a chance at making it through the rest of this day!!!

I genuinely believed that!!!! I genuinely believed I NEEDED that glass of wine to get through my day. I didn’t of course, no body ever NEEDS alcohol, it serves no purpose what so ever.

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