I was having a conversation the other day with a very good friend of mine about
alcohol and moderate drinking. The call was prompted by the fact that my ‘100 day sobriety’ challenge finishes the day we go on holiday, which she found funny and prompted the question.
“Does that mean you are drinking on holiday?”
The truth is, I don’t want to drink!!! Not on holiday, not ever!! I am so much happier now I don’t drink anymore, unfortunately that doesn’t mean I won’t drink on holiday.
I have a huge battle going on in my head at the moment about whether or not drinking in moderation is a good or bad thing. For me personally, I know deep down that what would start as moderate drinking would soon turn into regular drinking (every weekend), which would set me right back to the beginning.
I feel amazing having given up the booze, so I don’t want to go back there!!!
My friend suggested perhaps I could try drinking at her pace. She is one of those women who can open a bottle of wine, pour themselves one glass and then put the rest of the bottle back in the fridge for another day. Me on other hand, when I opened a bottle of wine, I was drinking a bottle of wine.
I discussed this current battle in my head in depth with her, after all I am going to need her support when we are on holiday, It won’t help me abstain if she is saying “go on, one won’t do you any harm” She listened to what I was saying, but she can’t really understand how I feel as she doesn’t have the same relationship with alcohol that I do.
So, What is my relationship with alcohol these days. I’ve been pretty much alcohol free for the last 7 months?
I don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic, but I do think I am addicted to alcohol. I tried for years to give up drinking and failed. When I read sobriety books which are written by people who refer to themselves as alcoholics I can see I have many of the same traits as them. for example: I begrudge sharing a bottle of wine with my husband, “it’s my bottle, get your own” or I go out for lunch with friends but I stop listening to what they are saying because I have just seen them pour more wine into their glass than mine.
My friend then suggested that perhaps it is just in my genes. I absolutely hated the idea that I was born with a defect that made me drink alcohol!!!!
So, I researched the concept and was pleased to find that alcoholism, no matter what degree it effects you (alcoholic or weekend binge drinker). It’s not in anyway shape or form related to your genes.
In fact, my research shows that the catalyst that leads to alcohol abuse is almost always from environmental factors like work, stress and relationships. The simple fact is, alcohol is an addictive substance and the more of an addictive substance you have the more you want!! This is the case for all addictive substances not just alcohol, but cigarettes, drugs and even sugar too.