Hi Honey I’m home – Sitting sober on cloud nine is back in the building!!

Where do I start, its been a while since my last blog, convincing myself that I do not have a drinking problem because I don’t drink everyday and because there are so many people out there that drink way more than I do.

Well the fact is I do have a drinking problem. My problem is that I know drinking makes me feel like crap, it makes me tired, stressed and agitated and yet I still do it!! WHY?????

I use the excuse that it helps me to relax, but I know that’s bullshit!!! It’s the wine that is making me stressed in the first place, not to mention making me fat and lazy to boot.

No matter how many times I say “I’m going to stop drinking once and for all” I always seem to end up back in the same place….me sat on my sofa, drinking red wine. It never used to be more than a bottle, but more recently that one bottle has turned into two. which is really scary!!!!

As I sat heavily in my hangover yesterday, unable to do all the things I had intended to do, I knew that something has to change. So I am back here in blog writing mode starting my journey to sitting sober on cloud nine once more, hoping that this time will be the last time I have to start over.

My plan is to go back to the gym and start working out again. I’m going to make sure I am treating my body with the respect that it deserves because when I eat the right food, exercise and mediate, I feel amazing…my body needs this!! I need this!!!

To help me stay on track I am going to get back to writing regular blogs about how great life is when you are Sitting SOBER on Cloud Nine.

See you soon L xxx

Post Holiday Motivation

So today is Tuesday 20 August 2019, day one of my ‘Miracle Morning 30 Day Life Transformation Challenge (I will explain more about that shortly, first I need to tell you about my holiday).

So in the weeks running up to my holiday, I struggled to find the motivation to lead a healthy life style, by that I mean refraining from drinking alcohol for more than 5 days at a time, eating healthy food and doing some form of exercise, other than exercising my mouth.

I had a serious case of ‘Putting it off until tomorrow syndrome’ Unfortunately tomorrow was actually 5 or 6 weeks away. Thankfully, I am now back from holiday and my motivation to live a happy, healthy life style is through the roof!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had an amazing holiday!!! However, I am pretty sure my holiday would still have been amazing without my daily diet of croissants for breakfast, bread and cheese for lunch, chocolate waffles as an afternoon snack followed by dinner. All washed down with red wine and cold beer.

Lets talk about a Miracle Morning (my post holiday motivation). Like many, I love to read when I am on holiday and my book of choice this year was the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. Its about 6 habits that will transform your life before 8am. In the opening page it had a success story from a women who had been doing the miracle morning for 79 days and as a result has lost 29lbs. (79 days?? That is just over 2 months) . From the moment I read this I was hooked. I want to lose 29lbs and would be overjoyed if I achieved that in the next 3 months.

So what is this Miracle Morning and what do I have to do??????

Basically you get up a little earlier in the morning and commit to some personal development. No one would argue that personal development is not good for you.

The 6 habits are called SAVERS

S is for SILENCE – Either sitting in silence or meditating. (I’m going to go with meditation).

A is for Affirmations – This is not something I have done before so I checked out affirmations on google about healthy living.

V is for Visualisations – This is an easy one for me, I love my vision boards.

E is for Exercise – I chose to go for a run (that’s my thing, but any exercise is good)

R is for reading – Reading something that will inspire you or teach you something new. I am reading the Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I love this book, it always puts me in a really positive mindset and that is sooo what I need right now)

S is for scribing – AKA writing. This could be writing in a journal, writing a gratitude list or even writing a book, if that is something you want to do. I am going to commit to writing my blog for the next 30 days.

The beauty of the miracle morning is you can do each one for a long or as little time as you want. Even if you only do each practice for one minute a day, that it 6 minutes of personal development you didn’t do yesterday!!! This personal development will then lead you to achieve your goals. Mine being to live a healthier, happier lifestyle and drop 29lbs in the process.

So this is how my morning has looked so far on day one of my Miracle Morning Life Transformation Challenge:

I woke up at 6am, I jumped out of bed as soon as my alarm went off and went straight to the bathroom. I drank a large glass of water and brushed my teeth. (this was to make sure I didn’t go back to bed).

I then went down stairs (away from my bed!!) and did a 10 minute, guided, morning meditation that I found through google. After that I read the Secret for 15 minutes, which reminded me that like attracts like. What does that mean??

Positive thoughts attract positive actions, whereas Negative thoughts attract negative actions!!! I want to live a happy, healthy life…so it will positive thoughts from me from now on.

Next up was Affirmations. I have never done this before and being completely honest I felt really silly talking to myself in the mirror for 5 minutes. However, I went with it and really tried to feel what I was saying. My Affirmation of choice today was:

I am grateful for my healthy body, I love my life and I love myself” I’m not particularly happy with the way my body looks right now, but I am genuinely happy about my health and all that my body can do!! (Remember focus on the positive).

After my affirmations, I moved onto visualisations, I love visualising, it is day dreaming for grown ups. I visualised, getting to my goal weight and how it would feel going and buying myself a new pair of Levis jeans.

Exercising and Scribing (writing) are probably my favourite. I went for a run (6km) and now I am sitting here writing my blog. You only have to look at my recent posts to see I haven’t really been up for blog writing recently. But here I am, back and focused and feeling alive. I love writing my blog, it brings me joy, especially when I get feedback from people saying I have inspired them in someway.

So over the next 30 days I am going to commit to doing my SAVERS everyday including writing my blog. Watch this space for my progress.

Duped by Holiday Mentality

For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you will know my recent holiday saw the return of my old holiday drinking habits. Despite being sober for almost 6 months and feeling amazing for it, I gave into the cravings, telling myself “I’m on holiday” and “One glass of wine won’t hurt” (not that I only had one glass).

In hindsight, going on a Canal Barge holiday probably wasn’t the best idea for someone trying to abstain from alcohol, seeing how the whole point is to sail from one pub to the next. However, I genuinely believed my days of craving wine were long gone. I hadn’t craved wine for almost 6 months and I have been in many situations where wine was readily available.

I now realise, although I am no longer fooled by the brainwashing that alcohol relieves stress, I was clearly still fooled into believing you can’t enjoy a holiday without drinking.

As I sat in the little canal side pub, drinking my latte by a crackling fire. I watched my husband drink his pint of lager and suddenly started to want a glass of wine more than I have ever wanted one in my life. As I looked around the pub, everyone was drinking. A tug a war started in my head “don’t have a drink you will feel better for not having it” “You’ve been doing so well” to “you are on holiday, having a few wines on holiday is not going to hurt”. I didn’t have a drink in that pub, but disappointingly I did in the next one.

The purpose of a holiday, whether going abroad or staying at home is to recharge our batteries, to reduce stress and relax and to spend quality time with family and friends. I can tell you right now I did not come away from that holiday feeling recharged and relaxed. I came away from that holiday feeling like hell and beating myself up for giving into my wine cravings. (I need tp be clear here. I didn’t land myself in a bucket every night. I drank two or three glasses of wine with my dinner, but that was enough).

As for spending quality time with the family. Well, neither my husband or myself do hangovers well, we spent moments of our holiday not talking to each other or snapping at each other and if you can call shoving phones into my children’s hands to keep them entertained while we had another drink in the bar , then yes we spent quality family time together. (I am actually being a little unfair, we spent a lot of good quality time together as a family, but not as much as we would have done if we took alcohol and hangovers out of the equation).

Brits spend roughly £45 billion on holidays each year in order to recharge their batteries, but how many of us waste that time for relaxing and unwinding by spending our holiday either drunk or hungover. I have heard so many people over the years say they need another holiday to get over their holiday, because they have over done the alcohol.

A friend of mine recently went to France and she like me (in my drinking days) was looking forward to drinking large amounts of wine and eating lots of cheese. We can buy french wine and cheese in the UK so why didn’t either of us just save ourselves a couple of hundred pounds and get drunk on french wine at home.

After a week of binge eating cheese and downing french wine do you think either of us felt relaxed or recharged. Of course not, we both felt like crap!!!

If holidays are designed to relax us and recharge our batteries, why do so many of us come back feeling worse than before we went??

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Thankfully I have returned from my holiday and have seen the error in my ways. I have gone on a 5 day detox to try and get the toxins of alcohol out of my body as soon as possible and have now been sober for 3 days.

If I am being totally honest though, I still don’t feeling great. I have a headache, I cannot control my temperature and I feel totally exhausted. All I want to do is go to bed.

I am a far cry from the full of life person I was before I went on holiday!!!!

Although I am disappointed in myself for giving into my cravings for wine on holiday, I am also proud I have picked myself up, dusted myself off and am once again on the happy path to sobriety.

Alcohol does not in any way shape or form bring me joy, not even on holiday.

I will not be duped by alcohol again!!!!!!!